20 Questions with He-da-man: The interview of a life time.
Continued from page 17.
FC: Chuck Norris has become a cult celebrity on the internet, how can you explain this?
HM: Man?! Chuck is such a Fag. I saw Chuck out about 2 years ago. I was out with She-Ra and she was all.."OOOHH CHuck Norris" I didn't much care, but she wouldn't stop! I told her if she was so friggin' hot and bothered over the guy she should go talk to him. So she walks over their- lookin' all sexy. Talked to him for awhile-flirted all dirty like- DUDE didn't even get her a drink? She WUZ BANGIN" and
that dude didn't even respond.. She had them tit-tays all out and that ass all shown' and dude didn't even look! Chucks gotta be a Q-weird dude lover! She-Rah!- Hot as Balls- Hell I'd do'er- . . . Have.
FC: Uhh She-rah. Aren't you two related.
HM: Well, yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that CHUCK NORRIS IS A HOMO!
FC: What is it like being the Prince of Eternia?
HM: I would say it's hard being a Prince- But that's a bunch of Bull. It is hard being a P-I-M-P In Eternia- but I make it look easy! Come on - I'm the MAN.
FC: What's up with the Purple and white outfit when you are the Prince?
HM: Hey man it was the 80's? You could get away with wearing the Gayest thing ever and no-one would say shit.. I pushed the shit to the limit. I'd wear the gayest thing I could just to show how much of a bad ass I was. How else can you explain the no-shirt wooly underwear? Dude most villians be laughin at that shit when you come running at them with nothing on but wooley britches. But I could do it and bring round' some respect! You know- some dude might say "you look gay in wooley briefs", but then if you kick his ass- throw'em a few hundred feet- pick up a castle or just plain beat the shit out of an army - they gon' think twice bout sayin' it ever again. Ya know!
FC: Come on wooley underwear? Not Gay?
HM: Boy- you about to suffer! But I respect you - I'be honest, I like fur- I kinda get off on it- ya know! Serve 2 purposes.
FC: 2 Purposes?
HM: Yeah I like fur.
FC: And the other purpose?
HM: BOY YOU THICK!! uhh Cover my enormous DICK! BOY NEED GET YOUR HEAD OUT YA ASS!
FC: Do you ever hang with any of the original casts?
HM: Yeah, every once in awhile. I lived with the Sourcerous for awhile back in 88. Of course I see Jaw pretty regularly. Beastman is out and about a bit. I see Skeletor ever now and again, course I see him every time I'm in rehab.
FC: Skeletor is in rehab?
HM: Yeah- I know what yer thinking - Painkillers and alcohol. But nah, he's one of the councellors there. Go figure. He grew a little mustach, they call him the fuhrer- it's pretty hillarious. I guess the whole skull thing along with that wicked laugh drives people to sobreity - never worked on me- just made me wanna drink more, but then again everything make me wanna drink.
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